the jealousy game

The Boy does not get jealous.

Me: You almost lost me to a homeless man today.

BF: Yeah? How so?

Me: I was volunteering tonight at the legal clinic. My first client was a 33 year old man, living in the homeless shelter, and he has no idea what his immigration status is. No documents, no passports, no greencard, nada.

BF: Sounds glum.

Me: uh-huh. There wasn't much we could advise him on because he wasn't even sure when his mother got her greencard or her citizenship status. And he's all alone because his family kicked him out so his mother won't talk to him and hasn't been in touch with him for over ten years.

BF: gee, story is getting worse.

Me: So the only options he really had was 1) get in touch with his mother and find out the year she got her greencard; 2) find out if his mother ever petitioned for him to stay in the U.S.; 3) get married to a U.S. Citizen (NOT recommended) and then have spouse petition for him; and 4) stay undocumented and stay out of trouble.

BF: So how did I almost lose you to this homeless man?

Me: He asked me out as soon as I told him about getting married to a U.S. Citizen.

BF: He did?

Me: Yep, and his pick up line was: "You have such a majestic beauty."

BF: And what did you say?

Me: I said thanks for the compliment and if he didn't have any more questions, I'll show him out.

BF: That's it?

Me: No. He wanted to use the restroom, so he was in there for about 15 minutes. He came out with his face beet red, all smiles, then asked me: "Would you like to go out to dinner with me if I asked you?"

BF: Aww, he's shy. How'd you turn him down?

Me: What made you think I turned him down?

BF: You're sitting here having dinner with me.

Me: Oh, right. Well, I told him that it was very nice of him to ask me but I am already taken and it wouldn't be right to go out with clients.

BF: You're such a heartbreaker.

Me: I know.

BF: Where is he? I'll give him $10 to take you.

Me: Hey! One day, one of these weirdos who hit on me will be a real good catch and you'll regret saying that!

BF: Oh yes, yes...I'll be sorry. I'll beat up all the homeless men who dare look at my Quinny!

Me: See, that's the way it should be.

BF: I can't live without my Quinny. Quinny is the world to me.

Me: uh-huh

BF: Without Quinny, I'd just wilt and wither, and be carried away by the wind.

Me: Okay, now you're just getting corny.

BF: *blegh* that is too much corn.