Monday, January 29, 2007

subject to a condition precedent

BF Quote of the Day: "If you are able to get a date with Brad Pitt, I'll marry you on the spot."

Fellow readers, you are my witness to this challenge from the Boy. Therefore, I write the following to Mr. Pitt:

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Dear Mr. Brad Pitt,

Although it pains me to have to break my vow of falling out of love with you because you broke Jennifer Aniston's heart, I must make this plea for your assistance in the state of my future marital status. It appears that my boyfriend will "marry [me] on the spot" if I am able to succeed in procuring your presence for "a date." So, if you're ever in the Kansas City area and would like someone to give you a tour of the law school or The Plaza, consider it a date. I'll promise to make it short, and your wife..er...girlfriend...um..mother of your child can also join us. My boyfriend did not say that our date had to be exclusive. And he didn't mention how long it had to be either, so an Appletini and an autographed photo will suffice as proof of our date.

I fear that you agreeing to a date is the only hope I have towards getting married with my boyfriend. It's either get a date with you to get the boyfriend to propose, or getting a new boyfriend. Perhaps getting a new boyfriend will be easier than getting a date with you. However, I will still persist because I have invested quite a bit of time into this relationship.

Have your people call my people.

Your former biggest fan, but will change it back to "your biggest fan" if it pleases you,

-Q-Pig.

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