Dear Dr. Dentist

Dear Dr. Dentist,

You are so gorgeous to look at. I thank the day the receptionist finally persuaded me to come see you because he thought you were so pretty. I didn't really believe him until I set my eyes on you myself. I was probably blinded by your beauty when you convinced me that I should come in for deep cleaning instead of getting a regular cleaning. Whatever. Your pretty blue eyes will make me do anything for you.

I was disappointed when you were not there to personally do the first half of my deep cleaning. You said you would do it because you were a perfectionist and you wanted me to have perfect clean teeth. So why didn't you tell me you were on vacation? I would have gladly rescheduled. The other hygienist did a good job, but she wasn't so pretty to look at.

Today, I came in to get the second half of my deep cleaning and was so excited that you were the one to work on my teeth. I was so happy to see your pretty blue eyes again. Even behind a mask you are so dreamy. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have a boyfriend, I think I would have seriously tried to ask you out. You are just that pretty to look at.

However, the moment you stuck that giant needle in my mouth and gave me five shots of novocaine to numb my mouth for your tortuous cleaning methods, I hated you. I hate you for making me hold onto the arms of that dentist chair so hard that my knuckles were probably turning white. I hate you for making me listen to that awful high pitched squealing noise everything you scraped my teeth. I really hated you for using so much force it felt like you were trying to PULL out my teeth rather than cleaning it. I hate you for making me walk around for the rest of the day thinking that half my face is fat and I'm probably drooling but just can't feel it (although, it's really an odd sensation to drink cold water and only feel the coldness on half your tongue.).

You're an evil, evil man and I just plain hate you. If you weren't so pretty to look at, I would have an easier time getting over you. Still, I look forward to seeing you in six months for the next check-up.

Yours truly,
QQ