BF: Well, your cat is fat. Every pet you own is fat.
Me: No it's not!
BF: You like to fatten up everything up. I even have some love handles now.
Me: I don't force feed the cat! I leave food out and she eats it. I don't hold her head to the bowl and say "eat, cat, or die!"
BF: Yes you do.
Me: And there's always food left in her bowl so I know she's not gobbling it down the second I put food in it.
BF: If they gave you an Ethiopian child, you'd be able to fatten it up in a week.
Me: Hey!
Jelly Belly, you're not fat. You're just fluffy. Doesn't matter what everyone else says.
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