Polynesian Cultural Center

During my week in Hawaii, I did what all tourists did and spent an entire day at the Polynesian Cultural Center. First, let me tell you that this place was created by the Mormons of Brigham Young University. Therefore, there was aboslutely no alcohol, no caffeine, no smoking, anything else unholy allowed in this 42 acre park. It was a beautiful place and I learned a lot, but after six hours of walking around, a little Pepsi would have been nice. Anyhow, out of the 130 photos I took during my visit to the center, here are a few of the highlights:

This is Cousin Opi, aka our tourguide. He took us from village to village and give us a history of each of the seven Polynesian countries. He mixed a lot of humor into his bantor so following him around wasn't too lame. Cousin Opi is from Samoa, the land of the happy people. Boy, from the way he was so excited throughout the whole day, we were wondering where he snuck in the caffeine.

The first highlight of the tour was getting a canoe ride from one end of the park to the other. It was romantic for couples, relaxing for all others (i.e. me who travelled without the Boy). The guy steering the canoe was pretty funny too: "ALOHA! How is everyone?", "Fine!", "Good. I'm doing well. Thank you for asking." And of course: "I just want to let you folks know that you are so heavy that you're breaking my back. Go on a diet people." See, they're sneaking in caffeine. And yes, he is wearing a skirt.

The Gods of the Polynesia Cultural Center.... Okay, I forget the real names, but do share if you ever visit there and find out the names of these statues.

I am pretty sure this is the type of huts that the people of Fiji lived in (there were so many huts I forget which is which). Yep, that's me waving from the door. This is the hut for normal village people because you do not see any shells decorating the door. FYI: The Chief's house has four doors, each assigned to different people for use. If you walk into the wrong door, i.e. a door not assigned to you, you'll get your head chopped off, no questions asked. Brutal, isn't it? Another FYI: The Chief would have many wives, but he only has one favorite wife. The benefits of being the Chief's favorite wife? You get to sleep in his bedroom, even if it's on the floor near his bed. The downfalls of being the Chief's favorite wife? You have to die when he dies. Therefore if he dies first from illness, you have to commit suicide. If you don't die after the Chief is dead, you'll be outcasted from the village and your own family will try to kill you for shaming them. This woman is from the islands of Tahiti and she's performing one of their dances. Not only can she shake her booty very well, her hair is hella long! It almost reaches the floor! And it's all real! I don't think she ever got a haircut in her entire life.
These woman are performing the Hawaiian Hula dance. These performances were part of the Canoe Pageant, and each Polynesian village showcased their village's dance and music. Quite colorful and very fun to watch. Mr. Samoan here, from Samoa, of course, is demonstrating how to make fire from coconut husks. He was very entertaining to watch. Did you know that in Samoa, the men cook and clean for the women? Great isn't it? One of his jokes: "Women, you want to move to Samoa? Go ahead, the men are leaving. We are the happy people." He also showed us how to open a coconut in four simple steps (yeah, steps were simple, but probably requires a lot of strength).
After visiting the villages, those who paid for it were treated to a luau. And what's the highlight of the luau? The roasted pig of course! It was actually cooked in a spit that is built beneath the ground, and they dugged it up and brought it out when it was ready to be served.
So, 75% of the employees at the Polynesian Cultural Center are students from Brigham Young Unversity in Hawaii (also run by the Mormons). This is like their work-study jobs. So at every village we visited, and every performance we saw, the announcer would always thanks the tourists for deciding to spend their money at the Polynesian Cultural Center because "your money gives us the opportunity to get an education. Mahalo!"