#1 rated joke(s) in the world

I was at a seminar today, learning about how to better prepare for trial through today's technological capabilities in the courtroom. These are two jokes that the first presenter opened with. He said they were rated #1 on CNN. Read the jokes, then tell me if they're really that funny. Note: This is from memory and not verbatim, so the funniness *might* be lost.

Joke #1: Golfing

Two men are out golfing and they both hear a funeral procession nearby. As the minister is leading the mourners to the gravesite, one of the golfers kneals down and bows in prayer. The other golfer was touched by this action and says to his fellow golfer: "That is so kind of you to bow down in prayer. I didn't know you were so spiritual."

The other man replied: "Well, it's the least I could do. I was married to her for the last 40 years."

The moral of this joke is that a paralegal should not devote his/her entire life in supporting his/her attorney. It's only a "working" relationship. Don't drop everything for a dollar. Learn how to say "NO."


Joke #2: Hunting

Two men are out hunting deer in the woods when one man suddenly collapses onto the ground. The other hunter pulls out his cell phone and calls 911.

911 Operator: This is 911. What is your emergency?

Man: Hello? I need some help. My friend collapsed and I think he's dead.

911 Operator: Ok sir, calm down. First, we have to make sure that he is really dead.

there is silence on the line, and then it's followed by a gun's BOOM!

Man: Okay, what's next?

The moral of this joke is that one must always use common sense and NOT FREAK OUT!


After 7.5 hours of listening about document production, digital imaging, trial presentation software, we get a personalized "Certificate of Completion" as proof that we did actually attend and learned from this seminar. And in addition to people not being able to say my name, some apparantly can't read and copy the spelling either. Today, my last name was Thile. At least they spelled my first name correctly.

Boyfriend quote of the week: "I don't know when I'll have time to see you while I'm working on this trial so I'm not making any committments to see you. Don't count on me to show up for any pre-scheduled cuddle time. Just assume that I won't be able to visit. That way, it'll be a surprise if I actually do show up. And then you can tell everyone how you always get 'surprise' visits from me!"