Boyfriend Quotes

The Boy has been working a lot lately, but all the overtime hasn't stopped him from giving jerky comments. I think being overworked only encourages the Boy to be more jerky with others.


BF: "He needs to go out and hump the world!"

Me: "But he's married. He's settled down. He CHOSE to get married."

BF: "He was forced! What a waste! He still needs to hump the world!"

Me: "Oh, is that your philosophy too? Do you have to go hump the world?"

BF: "Oh no, sweetie, this doesn't apply to me. I have you and you're all I need." [and then he turns around and fakes gagging.]

This conversation was about his college friend who just got married recently.

--------

BF's friend: "I'm a charming person, with standards. I don't just date anyone. Your BF, however, wants me to give up those standards and just go for anyone walking down the street."

BF: "That's right. Who needs standards? Hump the world!"

Me: "No standards? Does this no-standard-hump-the-world policy apply to you?"

BF: "Of course not! Who needs the world when I have you!" [again, he fakes gagging.]

BF's friend: "How do you put up with him?"

Me: "Usually, my answer would be 'I don't know." but since he's been working so much, I haven't had to put up with him."

BF: "All her friends always ask 'How, and why, do you put up with him?' Heck, all my peeps and my family asks her the same question."

Me: "Because you're the sweetest, most cutest person in the world and all I want to do is squeeze you tight!" [as I'm pinching his cheeks and saying this in the most sickening lovey dovey voice ever."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

About his upcoming Vegas trip:

Me: "Your brother is going now too? Oh great. Are you going to act like you don't have a girlfriend?"

BF: "Oh no, I'll still have a girlfriend. I'll just cheat on her."

Me: "FINE! Let me make it easier for you. We're through!"

BF: "aww, isn't she so cute. She's trying to make a stand. You're so adorable!"

------------------------------------------

How can you get angry at someone if they don't take your anger seriously, and their terms of endearment ends up making you laugh?