Summer Jobs - a story

Jack died and went to heaven. At heaven's gate, the Lord said to him, "Jack, I want to give you an opportunity to let you choose whether you want to spend the rest of eternity in Hell or in Heaven. I'm going to let you go down to Hell, try it out for a bit and then let you decide which you like better. How does that sound to you?"

Jack is surprised at God's offer but wanted reassurance that there was no gimmicks involved. "Are you serious, God? There's no gimmicks involved, is there?"

God replies, "Absolutely none. I don't want to pressure you, so you can spend as long as you want in hell, and then give me an answer when you're ready."

Jack agrees and immediately he is transported down to Hell. What he saw was not what he expected.

There were beautiful supermodels running around in their bikinis, playing volleyball on the beach and drinking Maitais for as far as Jack could see. There were men drinking along with the bikini clad supermodels, eating lobster in one hand with a beer in the other. There were people driving Ferraris down the street and others playing golf. And best of all, the temperature was a warm seventy five degrees.

A bit dazed and confused, Jack thought to himself, "Is this really Hell? How come it's so nice and warm? How come no one is being whipped with a stick to throw rocks into the lava? This can't be Hell!"

Then a big busted blonde walked up to Jack and asked, "Wanna come play volleyball with me?"

Jack quickly nodded his assent and followed the blonde, immediately forgetting his earlier state of confusion.

And so Jack spent a few weeks down in Hell, enjoying his Maitais and bikini clad co-habitants. Jack decided that it was about time to go back to Heaven's Gate and tell the Lord what he wanted to do for all eternity.

At Heaven's Gate, the Lord asked Jack, "So, Jack, have you decided what you wanted to do for all eternity?"

Jack replied, "Well, God, Heaven is great and all, but after seeing what Hell is really all about, I mean no offense to you but I think I want to go to Hell."

God nodded and asked again, "Are you sure, Jack?"

Jack immediately nodded yes and was transported back into Hell. Only this time, there was no bikini clad supermodels running around in their bikinis. There was no one playing golf, surfing, playing volleyball, or driving Ferraris. All that Jack could see were people with chains on their hands and feet, dragging large sized rocks and dropping it into a firey quarry below. There was a giant red man holding a pitchfork and whipping people with this large black whip. The giant red man saw Jack just standing there and immediately whipped him into work in the scorching hot temperature.

After a few weeks of carrying rocks to the quarry, Jack, still dazed and confused, went up and asked his supervisor, "Hey man, I don't get it. When I went to visit Hell a few weeks ago, it all all nice and warm, with pretty people running around and we were playing volleyball everyday. Where is that Hell?"

The supervisor responded, "Oh, that was our Summer Associates Program."