bed a broke a

I broke the bed. No, I was not jumping up and down on my bed. I was sleeping, actually. I was on one side, turned over to the other side and heard a board break, then found myself lying on a slanted mattress. It was after midnight so I didn't really want to go ask the hotel staff to fix it and decided to sleep through the night. Each time I turned over or rolled over, however, the boards kept creaking and/or breakinga little bit more, and the mattress kept slumping down on one side.

As I was getting dressed in the morning, I sat down on the bed to put some lotion on my legs and as soon as my butt touched the bed, there was a loud "THUNK" and the mattress broke through the boards underneath and fell to the floor. All I could do was laugh because I didn't know how to explain to the hotel staff that I just broke the bed.

So this is the conversation I had with the hotel staff:

Me: Ni hao. Ni hui shuo ying wen ma? [Do you speak English?]

Lady at the Front Desk: Yi dian. [a little]

Me: Okay. Zuo tian wo shui jiao le [yesterday when I was sleeping] wo de "bed" [my bed] shi "thunk." [go "thunk"].

Lady at the Front Desk: Bed a broke?

Me: Yes, bed broke.

Lady at the Front Desk: Broke a big?

Me: Um…zuo tian broke yi dian. Jin tian broke hen da [yesterday little break, today big break].

Lady at the Front Desk: Big a break? Bed a break big?

Me: Shi. Duibuqi [Yes, sorry].

Lady at the Front Desk starts laughing and tells me she'll tell housekeeping to fix the bed.

I'm Alive!!!

Hello fellow readers (all three of you!)! I'm alive and well! I did not get lost in Beijing or picked up by an Asian gang. I just have not had any internet access. Can you believe that? No surfing the internet during class! One of the first mission was to find an internet cafe, and to our great dismay, we found out that the internet cafes won't let you upload any pictures AND they have guards walking around watching behind your back to monitor what websites you're looking at. Crazy. And the computers in the foreign exchange center will also block access to certain sites too, i.e. uscourts.gov sites. Wicked crazy. Therefore, I couldn't find a computer to upload pictures, and I couldn't get a wireless signal from my laptop, so I've been suffering major internet withdrawal symptoms. To our great surprise, we found a cafe that not only has really good food but FREE wireless access too. So now I'm going to sit here and give you an update and upload some pictures until the waitress kicks us out. Here it goes...

I've been having a great time in Beijing. I've been here for ten days now and I was sick for seven of those days. I'm just finally getting over this cold today -- knock on wood. However, I wasn't going to let a sore throat, runny nose, congested lungs, coughing and sneezing keep me from doing all the touristy stuff.

Tianamen Square is not really a square but is a rectangle. It can hold up to 1.5 million people. We saw the inside of the Great Hall of the People where congress meets about twice a year (I think, don't quote me). We walked by Mao's Memorial Hall but weren't allowed to go see his dead body on display because they were renovating the place. One of my classmates is close to seven feet tall, so everywhere he walked, the Chinese people were taking pictures of him. We have dubbed "The Giant." We also asked a Chinese person to take a group photo of us, to which resulted in a picture that had everyone in it but "The Giant's" head. It was pretty funny.

The Summer Palace is where the Empress Dowager spent her time in the city. It was full of tourists when we went, and a bunch of peddlers were trying to sell us fake Olympic t-shirts (of which I bought one -- it's for you, bro). We also encountered our first scam artist -- another classmate bought a t-shirt and gave the peddler a 100 yuan bill for a 25 yuan shirt. When she got the change, we realized they gave her a fake 50 yuan note. Lesson learned.
We also saw a Chinese Acrobatic show (where that Chinese guy from Ocean's 11 came from) and it was so cool to see these talented artists perform. There were some crazy contortionists going on. And this girl riding the bicycle has very strong legs.


Next up was the Silk Market -- can I say knock-off galore? Coach, Louis Vuitton, Samsonite, Prada, Gucci, True Religion--whatever you can think of is here at market and you HAVE TO bargain in order to get things cheap. I spent way too much money there. On myself. For custom tailored cashmere suits. They look great on me so I'm just going to stop whining about how much I spent there. But, I was able to get other things too. Like True Religion men's jeans for $15 USD a pair. Yes, I'm not joking. The Boy has put in an order for six pairs. I don't know how I'm supposed to get all this back to the States. I might start visiting the post office or DHL soon.


The Great Wall!! This was the day that I was deathly ill, like I-didn't-want-to-get-out-of-bed-because-my-every-inch-of-my-body-hurts-and-I-had-no-energy-ill. But it was the day to go to the Great Wall, and I couldn't miss that.

So I dragged my ass out of bed, slept on the bus for the entire 2 hour ride to the wall, and then took the easy way out by riding the gondola up the Great Wall instead of climbing the mountain that leads up to it. It was so awesome. It's one thing to see pictures of the Great Wall, but it is entirely a whole different feeling to be able to stand on top of one of the world's greatest monuments. I walked along the Great Wall from one beacon to the next, but then got exhausted and decided to sit and wait while my classmates finished walking the whole section of the Great Wall we were in.

The best part of the Great Wall was being able to slide down to the bottom on this luge-like toboggan thing. From looking at it, I thought there was a great risk I would die from attempting this. They even sold insurance for the "ride". However, once I got on and starting my descent down, it was really fun and wasn't too fast or scary.

After an exciting day at the Great Wall, we got back to the hotel and I fell asleep while everyone else went out partying until the wee hours. I have yet to do that, but as soon as this cold is over, Beijing beware of QQ.

Now that I know where I can use my laptop to get a wireless connection, I'll try to update my blog more often, even if it's just to post pictures. Hopefully, the PRC isn't checking any wireless connections and trying to ban whatever I'm posting. hee hee

funny pictures and signs

coffee art

Crunch Time Fix

Lots of hazelnut and expresso to keep you up.

Pretty to look at, delicious to drink.

And plenty of caffeine in this drink to keep you wide awake too.

supersized Ziploc bags

I was at Wal-Mart looking for some storage bins and came across these giant Ziploc bags -- size XXL. What a genius invention! Ziploc SUPERSIZE with handles! They're great for storing things like linens and towels. And the best part? Once you're done using the bags, you can re-fold it for later use (like storing those winter sweaters).

As an example, in the picture above, I was able to fit seven boxes of shoes in the giant Ziploc bag.

(Yes, I am anal about organizing my shoes into plastic bins. It's just easier for me to look through the clear plastic box when I need to make a decision on which shoes to wear. Plus, I can stack the boxes on top of one another, which makes more room for new shoes. The Boy does have good ideas once in a long while.)

After I put all my things into the appropriate boxes, suicases, and Ziploc bags, I noticed that there is a possibility that my carry on luggage would fit into the Ziploc XXL bag.
I didn't attempt to squeeze my carryon into the Ziploc bag because I was tired to packing and I did not want to unpack anything, not even for this hypothetical.

But, hypothetically speaking, if my carry-on did fit into the Ziploc bag, do you think I would be able to go through airport security and say "You said you wanted me to put all my liquids in a Ziploc bag and all my liquids are in a Ziploc bag!"?

I'm thinking there will be a 99% possibility that airport security will just drag me away in handcuffs if I attempted this hypothetical.

I can't believe I just used "hypothetical" three times in the last three paragraphs. I do need a vacation.

DONE DONE DONE

no more pencils
no more books
no more teacher's dirty looks

no more con law
no more prop(erty)
no more contracts -- whee whee

I just finished my last final exam and have now completed my first year of law school! A most painful year it has been!

Now I can officially call myself a 2L...well, I'll be a 2L until I find out that I flunked all my exams and got kicked out of law school. But I won't care because I'll probably be in China when grades come out. Bring it on!

Now on to vegging out in front of the TV for the rest of the day.

as good as it gets

Me: I'm going to make you come back to Kansas City with me when my summer vacation is over.

BF (being sarcastic): Okay, anything you want. I'll follow you to Kansas City and move in with you. How does that sound?

Me: You know, that could be a possibility. I haven't made a 100% committment to anyone being my roommate yet, so there would be an extra room for you.

BF: There's going to be an extra room?

Me: Yeah, M is moving out at the end of July and I have to find a new roommate, remember?

BF: Oh yeah.

Me: Well, if you want to come live with me in Kansas City, you can have your own bedroom and bathroom and just help me pay half of everything.

BF: We would each have our own bedrooms to sleep in. Well, that sounds like a good idea.

Me: Well, you can have your own room for your personal time and I'll be in my room studying and what not. Then I'll just crawl into your bed when I'm ready to go to sleep. Or you can crawl into my bed.

BF: Hell no!

Me: What? Huh? Hell no?

BF: You sleep in your bed. I'll sleep in my bed. Then we can spend quality time together on the weekends.

Me: What?

BF: Yeah, we'll be like roommates during the week and then we can be a couple on the weekends.

Me: Oh, so it'll be like "Honey, let's spend the weekend in MY bedroom this weekend. Next weekend, we can spend it at 'your place.' ?"

BF laughing his sick ass off: Yeah, like that. Wouldn't that be great?

Me: Good gosh, you're a strange one.

BF: It'll be the perfect relationship. We'll be roommates during the week and stick to our own rooms. Then we can act like a couple on the weekends.

Me: Well, I guess if that's the only way you'll "move in" with me, I'll take what I can get.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Oh how I've lowered my marital goals with The Boy:

First, it was "Oh, I'm sure he'll change his mind about marriage."

Then it was "Oh, if he doesn't want to get married, I'll be happy with a life time committment."

Then it became "Oh, if he just agrees to move in together, that's as much of committment I'll get from him."

And now I've settled on "Oh, I'll take whatever I can get from him."

puppy love

It's a bit hard to tell from my camera phone, but this is the fattest dog I have ever seen. She was roly poly adorable! And quite affectionate too. So cute!

halfway mark

Two finals down.

Two more finals to go.

Absolutely no motivation left to study.

how to get a panic attack

1. Half an hour before your final exam starts, check your email to find that the person you've been negotiating with for the past three weeks has now decided to change her mind and not sublet your room for the summer. Postpone panicking because you are about to start your exam in 25 minutes.

2. Load up ExamSoft to start the exam loading process and discover that ExamSoft is refusing to work at all. Won't accept your password. Won't accept your username. Won't work. Raise your hand and furiously flag down the IT guy to fix the problem because you know, you have to take an exam in 20 minutes.

3. IT guy is downloading drivers to get ExamSoft to work and then has to re-install the program, which takes about ten minutes to be completed. After restarting, ExamSoft still doesn't work. Professor is in the room and announces that the exam will start in five minutes.

Start panicking now. Now is a good time to start panicking. See how many times I wrote start here? If only ExamSoft knew what start meant.



After getting the exam and mentally preparing to write for the next three hours, the anxiety attack really hit hard. My heartbeat was beating a million beats per second and I was slowly finding it difficult to breathe. Anyhow, the IT guy told me to go to some room upstairs after getting my exam, so I headed up there with my laptop, all the while trying to calm down and most importantly, breathe.

In the end, IT guy spent another 20 minutes fixing my laptop while I sat and tried to calm down. Whatever he did, ExamSoft finally worked and I was spared the trouble of having to write for three hours. And plus, I got to sit in a small classroom with only one other student in the room. It was awesome. Well, until I started reading the exam which left me wondering if I was taking a Property final instead of a Contracts final.

One down, three more to go. And oh yeah, now I have to find another subletter. F-ing great. No, I'm not bitter.

Coldstone Creamery loves birthdays

Coldstone Creamery helps celebrate your birthday by giving you a free Love-It size concoction of your choice:

My selection for celebration: Peanut Butter Cup Perfection Madness (or something like that):

It starts with a huge chuck of chocolate ice-cream.

Then comes the Reeses Peanut Butter cup and spoonfuls of peanut butter.
The ice-cream man does his mixing magic.
And voila, Peanut Butter Cup Perfection Madness!


So, it took me about 20 minutes to get to this point below. The point where I can't eat anymore because I'm stuffed full to the gills with ice-cream. I wanted to quit and throw the rest away.

However, my buddies C and K (cK ha ha) forced--YES FORCED I TELL YOU--forced me to finish the rest of the ice-cream. K went as far as dividing the remaining ice-cream into portions so it would make it easier to go down my mouth.
Needless to say, I finished it all. The entire contents of a Love-It size (that's medium to you folks not familiar to Coldstone Creamery). And let's just say I had to do a lot of walking afterwards.

... ... ... ... ... ...

If you want your own free birthday sundae, register here. You're out of luck if you already had a birthday. You'll just have to wait until next year.

death to chocolate

Cute chocolate mice

"oh no! my ear!"
"Friend, where are you?"
"Oh no! Not me"

No more mice.



Next up, the cute little chocolate penguin.


There it is.
"My arm! Oh no, now I'm a uniarm!" (if you haven't watched Open Season, you wouldn't get this joke)

Gruesome, I am. Delicious, they were.

what not to do

Don't ever go to the doctor and willingly request to get four shots of vaccinations in the same day.

Two shots in the right arm, plus one shot in the left arm, plus one prick for a skin test on the left forearm equals major major major MAJOR pain for the rest of the evening.

Why did I subject myself to this torture? I'm protecting my body against Hep A, Hep B, Typhoid fever and making sure I don't have or get TB while I'm overseas in Beijing.

Traveling to Asia is such a bitch. The CDC didn't require all these shots for anyone going to Ireland.

Need some chocolate to dull this pain....

Question:

What do you do when you accidentally deleted the Recycle Bin?

How do you put the recycle bin back?

I can't seem to find it.

fortune cookie fortune

"You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier."



I'm going to pass all my finals? Yay!

If I fail my finals, I'm holding the fortune cookie company liable.

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge"

.... .... .... .... ....

Now that I got that song out of my head, I just had to share this next piece of information I read about in the "Study Abroad Handbook" that was distributed to the group of us going to China for the summer. (Oh yeah, if I haven't told you about it, I'm doing a summer study program in Beijing, China this May to learn about comparative law. Me so excited!)

This handbook has information about everything from getting your passport to how you should act while studying abroad. There is this section titled "Safety Guidelines" and one point was specifically geared towards sex:

"10. Sex -- Although sex is not necessarily planned, safe sex should be. You should always be prepared for any eventuality. Therefore, even if you are not expecting to experience intimacy with anyone while overseas, bring a supply of condoms with you anyway. Keep in mind that American-made condoms are in general safer and more reliable than many of the ones you may purchase abroad."

Laughing yet? I'm laughing as I type this. But wait, there's more:

"If you are a woman do not be afraid of being perceived as promiscuous if you carry condoms, and do not expect male partners to always have their own."



Ha ha. See, wasn't that funny.

Don't worry about being called sluts, ladies. Even if you're not planning on roaming the streets looking for guys to randomly sleep with, you should prepare for those "just-in-case" moments and be safe about protecting yourself from contracting a disease or a foreign pregnancy and bring a box of American-made condoms. Just do it. And if you don't use it, you can pass it out to your foreign classmates who will probably appreciate the fact that they will now be better protected from the American-made condoms because apparantly, foreign countries don't know how to make condoms and America is superior as always.

weatherman's predictions

"There will be light showers tomorrow, followed by a thunderstorm that may result in snow on Friday. Check in with the 10 o'clock news for a full weather update."



SNOW?? In April??? Did I move back to Boston and not realize it?

oral argument

Ten things to do in preparation for your 1L oral arguments:

1. Make an outline of your argument, listing out the main issues and the points supporting it.

2. Shepardize all of your cases and your opponent's cases so you can point out which cases are overruled if the other side brings it up.

3. Include in your outline all the possible topics your opponent may bring up.

4. Practice at home in front of the mirror.

5. Business Attire. Learn the meaning of it.

6. Organize your materials in a binder, seperated by index tabs with the cases color-coded by relavance to the issue.

7. Try to learn from your classmates who have already completed their oral arguments.

8. Make sure you have enough material so you can speak for the entire ten minutes, just in case the judges decide not to ask you any questions.

9. Try not to get so nervous.

10. Laugh with your opponent before going into the courtroom.



What happens during the oral arguments:

You completely forget whatever you did above because as the appellee, you're sitting there listening to the appellent's counsel start off with the second issue (the less important issue) and completely skip the first issue altogether.

As you're trying not to look so shocked about her decision, you realize she's done using up her eight minutes and now it's your turn to go up to the podium.

As you start asking for the court's permission to speak, you start your argument by addressing what the appellent just said, while at the same time wondering if you're supposed to bring up the issue she forgot to mention, the issue that takes up 3/4 of your whole argument.

You try to talk for as long as possible on the issue that she raised, but then realize that all that talking amounted to only four minutes and somehow you have to bullshit your way through the remaining six minutes while still wondering if you should bring up the first issue and how would you do it? They didn't teach that in class!

You sit down, hear the opponent's rebuttal and finally start to breathe again.

... ... ...

Appellate Advocacy class for next year, anyone? Hell no, not me. Thank you for your time.

27 things to be thankful for

1. I was born. Thanks Mom & Dad!

2. Good health.

3. Good friends I made throughout my lifetime. Q, M, C, K, W, J, T, P, C, B, C, M, D, T...hmm, do I have friends for each letter of the alphabet? Must think about that...

4. My addiction to chocolate (yes, that is a good thing!).

5. Good appetite and somewhat fast metabolism (which is slowing down as I get older but if I show some gratitude, maybe metabolism will work faster again to keep me from ballooning into the size of a whale, although sometimes I do feel like a whale after eating).

6. People who know how to make good cheesecake. We all know I hate cheese, and yet cheesecake is one of the few things with cheese in it that I will eat. So thank goodness to whoever invented cheesecake.

7. Good teeth!

8. Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives because my life will never have as much drama as those television shows.

9. The movie "Big Fish" because it's a great fairytale for adults.

10. The movie "Over the Hedge" because I loved the comic strip and my favorite line from the movie is Hammy saying "But I like the cookie."

11. Mom and Dad for raising me, putting up with my stubbornness throughout the years, for allowing me to eventually do whatever I want even if they didn't agree with it.

12. Mom's home cooking.

13. The Brother.

14. The Boy. Yay to us for making the three year mark--a record for each of us! And thankful to him for being able to listen to my pathetic whining, crying, tantrums, mood swings during all the bad times and still sticking with me through all the craziness. You're the best!

15. The Boy's Family for not judging me because I'm not Catholic, not Shanghainese Chinese, not supermodel skinny, not dependent on a man, not a good-traditional-conservative-Asian...just thanks for welcoming me and liking me for who I am.

16. Gourmet chocolate. Did I already list chocolate? Well, it deserves two spots.

17. Wellesley College for giving me such a great education even though it really didn't prepare me for the real world.

18. UMKC for trying to give me a legal education. So far, I hate 1L but am looking forward to 2L and the ability to pick my own classes.

19. Being able to meet my great-grandmother before she passed away.

20. Being able to meet my grandparents. Hopefully I can see them again soon. Maybe sometime after taking the bar exam and before starting my life as a slave to some giant law firm.

21. Food and shelter. There are so many people in the world who lacks one or both and I'm thankful I'm not in that situation.

22. Being able to grow in maturity and responsibilities, and even growing in my personality, throughout my life.

23. Having a happy outlook on life and always looking for the silver lining, even during the rough times.

24. Fall, Summer, Spring. If Winter only consisted of one week of snow, I might be more thankful.

25. Chocolate chip cookies. How did I almost forgot about that?

26. Birthdays.

27. The ability to not look my age -- "Yes, it is my 23rd birthday today!"