as good as it gets

Me: I'm going to make you come back to Kansas City with me when my summer vacation is over.

BF (being sarcastic): Okay, anything you want. I'll follow you to Kansas City and move in with you. How does that sound?

Me: You know, that could be a possibility. I haven't made a 100% committment to anyone being my roommate yet, so there would be an extra room for you.

BF: There's going to be an extra room?

Me: Yeah, M is moving out at the end of July and I have to find a new roommate, remember?

BF: Oh yeah.

Me: Well, if you want to come live with me in Kansas City, you can have your own bedroom and bathroom and just help me pay half of everything.

BF: We would each have our own bedrooms to sleep in. Well, that sounds like a good idea.

Me: Well, you can have your own room for your personal time and I'll be in my room studying and what not. Then I'll just crawl into your bed when I'm ready to go to sleep. Or you can crawl into my bed.

BF: Hell no!

Me: What? Huh? Hell no?

BF: You sleep in your bed. I'll sleep in my bed. Then we can spend quality time together on the weekends.

Me: What?

BF: Yeah, we'll be like roommates during the week and then we can be a couple on the weekends.

Me: Oh, so it'll be like "Honey, let's spend the weekend in MY bedroom this weekend. Next weekend, we can spend it at 'your place.' ?"

BF laughing his sick ass off: Yeah, like that. Wouldn't that be great?

Me: Good gosh, you're a strange one.

BF: It'll be the perfect relationship. We'll be roommates during the week and stick to our own rooms. Then we can act like a couple on the weekends.

Me: Well, I guess if that's the only way you'll "move in" with me, I'll take what I can get.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Oh how I've lowered my marital goals with The Boy:

First, it was "Oh, I'm sure he'll change his mind about marriage."

Then it was "Oh, if he doesn't want to get married, I'll be happy with a life time committment."

Then it became "Oh, if he just agrees to move in together, that's as much of committment I'll get from him."

And now I've settled on "Oh, I'll take whatever I can get from him."