all by myself

I miss you Jelly Belly Fatty Catty.

sniff sniff

I fattened you up so you better not let those other kitties bully you.

sniff sniff

You'll always be my first and only cat.

sniff sniff

Pretty Stella.

sniff

sniff

twin size no more

I used to sleep on one of these queen size beds:
Then I sold it last night and was forced to sleep on one of these twin size air mattress:


It was not a good night's rest. Jelly Belly and I both cannot fit on this tiny air mattress. First, Jelly Belly was freaked out everytime I shifted my body because it would cause her to bounce around. Then, she realized the bed was smaller so she started walking all over me throughout the night. And, she started meowing right next to my head in hopes that I would just roll off the air bed and sleep on the floor. We came to a compromise of her getting the lower half of the air bed while I curled up in a ball in the upper half of the air bed.

I'm not going back to a twin size bed in Kansas City. Nope, can't do it.

GRR!!

That's all I can say now.

um, so sweet (?)

I got flowers at work today.

At first, I didn't know who it was from, because the card had no name on it. And then I thought maybe the Boy sent it to me, but then he hates sending regular cut flowers because they die so quickly--he'd rather send potted flowers because then if they die, it's my fault ("You killed our love plant"). And it's totally not like the Boy to send me flowers on a random day for no special occasion.

I called the Boy anyway, and asked if he did indeed send me flowers. Yes, he did. He forgot that he didn't put a name on there. I was overwhelmed by his gesture. When I think I've figured him out, he ceases to surprise me.

And then he bought me a slice of chocolate cake. Real chocolate cake made with real sugar and all that fatty goodness.

Flowers and cake....should I be worried here?

Deja Vu

I love watching Law and Order, especially the original series. SVU is interesting to watch too, but I just cannot stand watching Criminal Intent. All because of this guy. I hate the way his character acts. The slow explanations. The stupid hand gestures. I feel like he's talking to a five year old through the entire hour. It's all very annoying.

And then I see him in The Breakup. And yep, he's still does the slow talk and stupid hand gestures. And plus he gained A LOT of weight in this movie. It was a good thing he only had a small role in this movie, or else he would have totally ruined the entire movie for me.

Giants 9, Padres 3

Thursday's Giants vs. Padres game was perfect--warm weather, no cold wind, clear skies, great fans and of course the Giants won. It was also one of the greatest games I've ever seen. Not only did the Giants almost went nine innings without giving any homeruns to the Padres, the Giants made three homers in a row--Bonds hit HR #722 and while I was asking the Boy if it was possible for a player to ever "steal home" from third base, it happened as he was trying to explain it to me! I don't remember which Giants player it was, but he ran from third base to home plate just as the player at bat bunted the ball and started running for first base. It was AWESOME! Then I got to see the Lou the Seal do his happy dance.

The Boy, on the other hand, had a miserable time because he was rooting for the Padres. Yeah, he was the lone person booing the Giants and Bonds while everyone around him rooted and cheered for the Giants.

GO GIANTS!

Alcholics Anonymous Anyone?

I saw this giant champagne glass in Michaels Arts & Crafts Store today. It's like the holy grail for Cristal lovers with grills in their teeth and bling bling on their body. Michaels also had giant martini and margarita glasses too, and even a giant brandy glass. I don't know how anyone can swirl the brandy around in such a giant glass.

Okay, so obviously the reason it's sold at Michaels is not for drinking purposes. But hey, can you imagine how much alcohol these glasses can hold? Good lord.

Don't you just love my doodle face? =)

I want one.

Such cute little piggies!

oh thank goodness!

Technology has spoiled me. To be more specific, high speed internet has spoiled me.

For some odd reason, I was not able to connect to the internet when I got home from work today. I tried, on my own, how to fix the connection, but no matter what buttons I push or wireless connections or servers or whatever else you do to get connected, none of the things I tried worked. And I started getting really irritated that my cable tv was working just fine but I couldn't get online.

So after twenty minutes on the phone with Comcast, they were able to get my internet working again. And as soon as I was able to load up internet explorerer, I shouted "THANK YOU COMCAST MAN!!"

I need to disconnect myself from all this technology. Maybe reconnect with nature by going hiking or something. One can still use cell phones in the woods, right?

Dear Dr. Dentist

Dear Dr. Dentist,

You are so gorgeous to look at. I thank the day the receptionist finally persuaded me to come see you because he thought you were so pretty. I didn't really believe him until I set my eyes on you myself. I was probably blinded by your beauty when you convinced me that I should come in for deep cleaning instead of getting a regular cleaning. Whatever. Your pretty blue eyes will make me do anything for you.

I was disappointed when you were not there to personally do the first half of my deep cleaning. You said you would do it because you were a perfectionist and you wanted me to have perfect clean teeth. So why didn't you tell me you were on vacation? I would have gladly rescheduled. The other hygienist did a good job, but she wasn't so pretty to look at.

Today, I came in to get the second half of my deep cleaning and was so excited that you were the one to work on my teeth. I was so happy to see your pretty blue eyes again. Even behind a mask you are so dreamy. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have a boyfriend, I think I would have seriously tried to ask you out. You are just that pretty to look at.

However, the moment you stuck that giant needle in my mouth and gave me five shots of novocaine to numb my mouth for your tortuous cleaning methods, I hated you. I hate you for making me hold onto the arms of that dentist chair so hard that my knuckles were probably turning white. I hate you for making me listen to that awful high pitched squealing noise everything you scraped my teeth. I really hated you for using so much force it felt like you were trying to PULL out my teeth rather than cleaning it. I hate you for making me walk around for the rest of the day thinking that half my face is fat and I'm probably drooling but just can't feel it (although, it's really an odd sensation to drink cold water and only feel the coldness on half your tongue.).

You're an evil, evil man and I just plain hate you. If you weren't so pretty to look at, I would have an easier time getting over you. Still, I look forward to seeing you in six months for the next check-up.

Yours truly,
QQ

Movie and Coldstone Creamery

First of all, why are so many people at the movies on a Tuesday night? Don't you people have families to tend to or something? Good gosh, the theater was packed!

Okay, on to the movie. I should have been at the gym myself tonight. But a Freudian slip of the mind left me a gym bag with a tanktop, socks and no gym shorts whatsoever. So since I still had the rest of the night ahead of me, Q and I decided to go watch The Devil Wears Prada. The movie was *okay* and it held it's own, but the story was soo totally not like the book. I mean, the writers basically wrote a whole new storyline. They changed the characters around, made Andrea look like a total ditz when she's really not, and she so totally became a slut for about a minute (well it was really 6 hours in movie time).

Since we went directly to the movie after work, Q suggested Coldstone Creamery for dinner. Again, there was a bunch of people there. Shouldn't they be at home with their kids or something? It IS a weeknight. Anyhoo, there was about five people in line before us, and we waited patiently for our turn. Q was up first, so she gave her order and the guy behind the counter told us to go to the other side and he'll take care of both our orders.

Q: I want the to go "Mine" size of cake batter ice-cream, peanut butter and fudge.

Ice Cream Dude (ICD): "Mine" size? Are you going to be able to eat all of that? [takes two scoops of cake batter ice-cream and puts it on the slab and starts adding peanut butter and fudge]

Me: She's having a bad day. And you're making feel lots better.

ICD: Well, I'm glad I can make her happy.

Q: Oh, the "Mine" size allows for three toppings. Hmm, what to get....

ICD: Oh, get whatever you want, I'll hook you up.

Me: He'll hook you up, Q. Get whatever.

Q: Okay, can you put yellow cake in it too?

ICD: Anything for you. [gets MORE cake batter ice-cream and starts mixing in cake.] Oops, looks like I put too much ice-cream here. It's okay, if there's extra, I'll give you another container.

Q: Aww, thanks.

ICD: Just don't tell my manager.

Q: I promise.

ICD adds peanut butter to the mix and asks Q: Do you want to lick the peanut butter spoon?

Q: Sure!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to hold in my laughter because he is so totally flirting with us, well mostly her, but she doesn't catch on yet.

ICD: Here's your "Mine" pint and here's the extra ice-cream in another bowl. [looks at me] Now, what can I get for you?

Me: I want the same size as hers, but make it a Peanut Butter Perfection Madness.

ICD: Coming right up. [gets a ton of ice-cream, adds Reese's peanut butter cups and peanut butter] Do you want to lick the peanut butter spoon too?

Me: Sure.

ICD: So are you two like best friends or roommates or something?

Q: Yes, we are. Both.

ICD: Yeah? Roommates? What school do you go to?

Q: Umm [looks at me]

Me: We're...not...in..school anymore....

Q: Well, I am....you're soon going to be one...

Me: Well, we met in undergrad.

Q: Yeah, at Wellesley.

ICD: Where's that?

Me: Boston.

ICD: Are you both originally from here?

so right now, ICD is totally flirting with us both. I take a look at Q and quietly whisper "Are you showing your boobs or something? He's giving us a ton of ice-cream!" Q was not showing her boobs. We were both totally covered from head to toe, because you know, this is San Francisco summer.

Me: Um, I'm from Kansas and Boston. She's from South Carolina.

ICD: Oh okay. Hey, Nate here wants to be reassured that he's cute. Can you two just tell him that?

Q: All you, Q-Pig.

Me: Huh?

Nate [ICD's co-worker]: He's only saying that because he wanted to you know, indirectly, that he thought the both of you were cute.

Me: ha haha

Q: hee hee

ICD: Well, here's another pint of ice-cream and another extra bowl. You can eat this right here.

I start eating the cup of Peanut Butter Perfection and start moaning on the spot about how good the ice-cream was.

Me: Ohmygosh, this is delicious.

Q: Isn't it?

Me: You gotta some. Here.

And as I fed Q a spoonful of Peanut Butter Perfection, ICD guy totally blew his top. I think the other guys are staring at us now. Note to self: do not moan while eating ice-cream in public.

ICD: Wow.

Q: Here's a tip. Thanks for hooking us up!

ICD: Wow.

And we also got serended by ICD and the rest of the gang for giving them a tip. I'm pretty sure that was company policy though.

Q and I don't understand how we get hit on by totally random people. ICD guy was probably in high school, although he'll pass as an undergrad, but Q and I totally made his night by coming into the Coldstone Cremery he was working at. We will both probably be the topic of tomorrow's conversation at the lunch table.

Who knew a Blonde and an Asian makes such a hot combination. Is this some sort of fantasy for you guys? We need to take advantage of this combo.

Must now go confess to the Boy of the evening's festivities...

Looks Who's Fat

Quote from Day in Pictures:

Never met a kibble he didn't like: Chester's favorite lounging spot at The Connoisseur store in Port Arkansas, Texas? On a floor scale. Obviously, the tubby tabby (31 pounds) is watching his weight.

From SFGate

Food food and more food

BJ's Brewery just opened a new restaurant around the corner from the Boy's summer home in Sacramento and we decided to stroll in for some lunchtime grub. The waiter excitedly announced that we arrived in time for the lunch specials (from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.) and told us that any menu item with a little black/white circle next to it will have the lunch special price applied to it. Sweet.

After spending 15 minutes looking through every single item in their menu, the Boy and I both decided to have the bowl of soup and half a sandwich lunch special (all for $7.95 per person). He ordered the barbeque chicken sandwich with fries and I ordered the club sandwich with fries. We both chose clam chowder for our soup.

Another waiter brings out our half of the meal, the "bowl" of clam chowder. It was a HUGE bowl. I guessed that the amount of soup they gave each of us was about the same amount that would come in a Progressive can of clam chowder. I sat there staring at it, wondering how I would fit half a sandwich after eating the bowl of clam chowder. It was damn good chowder though, I won't argue with that.

As we were trying to see the bottom of our bowls of clam chowder, another server bought out our sandwiches. I notice that there is half a potato on my plate and so I quickly told the server that I had ordered fries with the sandwich. She said she would go get me a plate of fries. But then something looked odd. The Boy's sandwich didn't look like a chicken sandwich at all. But before I could ask the Boy if that was what he ordered, our original waiter comes by, swoops up both plates of sandwiches and whispers "she delivered it to the wrong table" and continues to give the food to the people behind us. Good thing we didn't lick the sandwiches yet.

And while we're still trying to finish our bowls of clam chowder, the server who brought us the wrong plates of sandwiches came back with my plate of fries. She looked at the empty table and looked confused about where the plates of sandwiches were. I gently told her that those sandwiches belonged to someone else and she started counting tables and realized she did deliver the food to the wrong table. She let me keep the extra plate of fries though.

After about 15 minutes, we both gave up on trying to finish the clam chowder. We both could have shared just one bowl of chowder. And at this point, we were both too full for anything else. But our sandwiches came out, with more fries, and we eat took a couple bites of the sandwich and fries and so people didn't think we were anorexic or thought we didn't like the food. The fries were so good that I kept stuffing myself while moaning that I was too full to eat another bite. The Boy had to tell me to "put the fry down and step away from the table."

So in the end, we had a bowl of clam chowder, a quarter of a chicken sandwich and a quarter of a club sandwich plus a ton of fries to take home for snacking. Unfortunately, it's still sitting in the fridge and by the time we get up to Sacramento this weekend, it'll probably be bad. Oh well, guess we'll have to go back to BJ's so I can eat the chocolate chunk pizookie again. Yum.

Pink Cadillac

I saw this pink Cadillac SUV driving by and couldn't take out my phone quick enough to take a picture of it. But lucky for me, the driver decided to make a stop at Costco too. What's that saying that goes with "pink Cadillac"?

I HATE MUNI

Quotes from the conductor of the L-train I was on today:

-People, get on the train behind me, this one isn't air conditioned. You'll be hot.

-People, get in so I can close the door.

-Get on the next train because you'll suffocate from the heat inside this non-air conditioned train.

-We're not moving because the train in front of us isn't moving.

-We'll move as soon as the train in front of us gets it's power back.

-The engineers are working on the system and making sure the trains move on schedule but it's putting so much pressure on the trains that we're not moving anywhere.

-Thank you for your patience.

-It's getting hot in here.

Good god, after two hours, TWO F**KING HOURS, of sitting on that train did I finally get off at my stop and walk through the door of my apartment.

be careful what you speak

Being a manicurist for the last 10 years, I hate it when I see that someone did not take care of his/her nails and toenails. It's my pet peeve, I guess, to see ragged nails with cuticles splitting and nails bitten down to the nubs. And for the ladies, it's just wrong to wear open toe sandels and have your feet look like a wreck. Wrong, I tell you! Wrong!

Okay, and now to the point of the story. Ever since I moved to San Francisco, I started going to the nail salons and pay for a pedicure because my mother is 3,000 miles away and I can't just stop into her salon and say "Mommy, I want a pedicure and I'll give you one in return." And I just hate bending over for an hour trying to put red nail polish on my toenails. Recently, I got the Boy to get a pedicure with me because I'll nag him until kingdom come if he doesn't trim his toe nails. So here's the scene, we're both in a nail salon, owned and employed by Vietnamese people (surprise!) and I asked, in English, if they had time to do two pedicures. They were able to seat us right away, and side by side we sat. The woman working on the Boy is Nail Lady #1 and the woman working on me if Nail Lady #2.

Nail Lady #1 first sat down in front of me, but took one look at me and decided to work on the Boy instead. Not thinking anything of it, I continue reading People magazine. The Boy is reading some magazine about import cars. As soon as Nail Lady #2 starts taking off the polish on my toenails, Nail Lady #1 starts talking to her in Vietnamese.

NL#1: [in Vietnamese] This guy has really nice feet. It's clean and not dirty like that other guy I did yesterday.

NL#2: [in Vietnamese] I know, some people have such disgusting feet, you have to clean your own hands in alcohol afterwards.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting in my chair, laughing behind a magazine because they just commented about the Boy's feet. The Boy is looking at me asking me what they just said because he thinks they're talking about him. I quietly translate the conversation to him without giving away the fact that I can understand every single Vietnamese conversation in the entire salon.

NL#1: [in Vietnamese] His feet is so soft too. But he's got really hairy legs though.

NL#2: [in Vietnamese] He's white, what did you expect? White people are hairy.

About twenty minutes into the pedicure...

NL#1: [in Vietnamese] You know, I keep smiling at the lady you're working on and she doesn't smile back.

NL#2: [in Vietnamese] Maybe she's having a bad day.

NL#1: [in Vietnamese] Maybe she's just a bitch and is being really pissy. Who doesn't smile when someone else smiles back? That's just rude.

--okay, I understood what she was saying. I was trying really hard not to laugh but at the same time I thought to myself, "Did she just call me a bitch for not smiling?" I kept a straight face and kept looking at Nail Lady #2 to make sure she didn't bleed me with the cuticle clippers.

NL#2: [in Vietnamese] You know somethings is weird here...

Nail Lady #2 then looks at me and asks in English: Are you Chinese?

Me: [in Vietnamese] Um, no, I'm Vietnamese.

--at this moment, Nail Lady #1 is completely shocked to hear fluent Vietnamese coming out of my mouth, and she realizes that I understood everything she just said, so she starts hiding her face behind her arms. Nail Lady #2 is telling Nail Lady #1 that she should have watched her mouth and now she's being embarassed by it and she's surprised that she couldn't tell I was Vietnamese in the first place.

The Boy interjects when he realizes what just happened, and he tells Nail Lady #1: [in English] You should watch what you say because you never know who's listening.

We all had a good laugh and I carried on a conversation with the two nail ladies as they were finishing up our pedicure. I kept reassuring Nail Lady #1 that there were no hard feelings and people say that about me all the time (that I look like a total bitch when I'm not smiling) so she shouldn't be embarassed about it.

And after our pedicures were finished, we left the salon and the Boy said to me: You're sick. You enjoy torturing those people and that's why you never announce that you're Vietnamese whenever we go to a nail salon.

Me: Heh, it's funny. Gives something to blog about.

Do I look like a receptionist to you?

As I was walking into the gym this morning, the guy behind the front counter slammed down the phone and angrily whispered "I hate the fucking phones!" Then he looked up at me, embarassed that I had just witnessed what he did and said.

"Don't worry about it, after this week, I will hate the fucking phones too," I told him as he scanned my card and wished me a good work-out.

------------------------------

---Monday, 8:45am, I turn down the hallway towards the office and notice the doors were closed. Great, that usually means that our receptionist is not coming in. So I opened up the doors, switched the phones on and walked back to my desk to drop off my things. Just as I was putting my things away, the officer manager comes running out of her office to find me.

Office Manager: [the receptionist] called in sick this morning. And [the paralegal] is on vacation. The temp doesn't get in until 9. Can you work out covering the phones with her when she gets in?

Me: Um, sure. Who else will do it? [note: there was no other staff in the office.]

Office Manager: Well, the phones won't get answered then if you won't do it.

Me: Um, that was a rhetorical question.

So on Monday, I ended up covering the phones from 8:45 to noon, then from 2 until 5, all the while running back and forth from my desk at the end of the office to the front desk to the copy room, etc., etc.

---Tuesday, 8:30am, I walk down the hallway and see that the office doors are fully open, only I hear loud hacking from beyond the doors. I thought to myself that I would probably be covering the phones all day again. I smile at him as I walk to my desk and settle down. And what do you know? I get an email from the receptionist saying that he wasn't feeling well and he wanted to leave early so can someone please watch the phones. He sent this email to all the staff knowing that I was the only one in the office during the mornings because 1) the paralegal is on vacation, 2) the other assistant doesn't start until 2, and 3) the temp doesn't get in until 9am. I ignored the email, not just out of spite but because I was truly busy from catching up with Monday's work.

It turns out the temp couldn't come in until 11, so the receptionist agreed to stay until the temp comes in so that I can get actual work done on my cases. 11:30 rolls around and the temp still isn't in but the receptionist keeps whining about wanting to go home so the office manager made me abandon my desk to watch the phones. Then it's 12:15 and the temp is still not in and I'm getting hungry. The office manager walks by and tells me she's going to lunch but I had to ask her how am I going to get lunch is no one else is here to watch the phones?

Office Manager: The temp is not in yet?

Me: No, I told you an hour ago that she never showed up.

Office Manager: I'll call the temp agency when I get back from lunch.

Me: Well, how am I supposed to eat? I can't wait until 2, that's too late and I'll surely pass out from starvation.

[okay, that was a bit dramatic on my part.]

Office Manager: Well, wait until 1 and then talk to me.

And she walks out to get her lunch. She comes back about twenty minutes later, parading her salad in front of me as she's telling me that she's going to eat it first before figuring out where the temp is. Grr.

At 1pm, Office Manager: Okay, the temp agency can't get in touch with her and doesn't know where she is. Why don't you just take a half hour lunch and turn the phones off.

Me: I usually take an hour lunch....

Office Manager: Well, you can't today. And eat quickly.

Me: Okay, but we shouldn't turn off the phones for a half hour.

Office Manager: Why not?

Me: Because [the Partner] hates it when no one answers the phone during business hours. He told you this before, that's why we couldn't leave early on Fridays anymore.

Office Manager: Oh yeah, that's right. I don't care, I'll just tell him that you're out to lunch.

And then she walks away. I turn off the phones and go grab a slice of pizza and swallow it quickly because 30 minutes doesn't allow for many options. I get back to the office and turn the phones on and guess who calls? The Partner.

the Partner: Why are you answering the phones?

Me: Receptionist is sick and the temp is MIA.

Partner: Temp is MIA? So you've been doing phones all morning?

Me: yeah...

Partner: Where's [the Office Manager]? She should help out so you can do the stuff I assigned you.

Me: Um, yeah. help, right. That didn't work out so well.

Partner: What do you mean?

Me: I asked [the Office Manager] to watch the phones so I can go get some lunch, and she told me to turn it off. I just got back from lunch now.

Partner: She made you turn off the phones during business hours?

Me: Yeah, and she said that if you happened to call during that time, it was because I wanted to eat.

Partner: I told her not to turn phones off during business hours. I'll deal wiht her when I get back into the office. Let me talk to [the Associate].

So I watched phones for the rest of the day Tuesday because the temp never showed up and the other assistant was forced to stay at her desk by her attorney (the other Partner). The receptionist called later in the day so say that he wouldn't be at work on Wednesday so I told the Office Manager to get another temp to just cover the phones because I can't do it anymore, especially if the temp assistant doesn't show up for work again and I have to cover all of her attorneys. But of course the Office Manager doesn't call for another temp.

---Wednesday, 8:30 am, I walk into the office, switch the phones on and just forward them to my desk. I put up a sign that reads "Messenger and delivery people, please call x123 if signatures are needed. Thanks." on the front desk and continued to work from my desk at the end of the office.

Office Manager: The temp is coming in today. She had an emergency surgery yesterday and that's why she didn't show up.

Me: Emergency surgery? Then why the hell is she even going to work today?

Officer Manager: She said she can come in.

Me: Okay, well ask her to stay the whole day because I really have a lot of work to catch up on.

Officer Manager: I will.

But she doesn't. I saw the temp coming in at 9 and I asked her if she could watch the phones and if she could stay until 5. The temp said she wanted to go home early because she wasn't feeling well after her surgery, so guess who ended up watching the phones for another f-ing day?

---Thursday, 8:30 a.m., after a work-out at the gym, I turn the corner and see the doors open at the office. I hear coughing in the background and I see that it's coming from the receptionist.

Me: Are you still contagious?

Receptionist: Yeah.

Me: Why are you here?

Receptionist: I feel better today.

I walk back to my desk and then my phone rings.

Receptionist: Honey, I'm going to leave early because I'm not feeling too well.

Me: You just told me you were feeling better. That was like two seconds ago!

Receptionist: I know, but now I'm not feeling so good.

Me: Okay.

Receptionist: I'm going to leave at 11am.

Me: Why don't you just leave now? Why did you even come in if you're not feeling well?

Receptionist: I don't know, I felt like I had to come in. To help out.

Me: Yeah, whatever. Just tell me when you leave.

And it's only 9:14am and I'm already doing phones again. And there's no temp today either. See, I knew I'd hate the fucking phones too.

oh that's hot

I've been hearing this song all week long and it's gotten to the point where I've memorized half the lyrics. It's got a nice beat, lyrics make sense, and when it's always on the radio, I sing along in my horrible singing voice...

I don't mind spending some time

Just hanging here with you

Cuz I don't find too many guys

That treat me like you do

Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride

But when I walk their talk is suicide

Some people never get beyond their stupid pride

But you can see the real me insideAnd I'm satisfied, oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I'll show you mine

But, as I was singing along with the radio, I kept wondering: Who sings this song? Is this someone new? I don't think I know who she is. I must know who this is!!

Well, I found out. And I'm greatly surprised...very shocked indeed. I still can't believe it. If you haven't figured it out, all this time, I've been singing along with PARIS HILTON!!

I'm embarassed to say that Paris Hilton's singing is actually good.

*I must go back to the day before I knew Paris Hilton could sing. I must go back to the day before I knew Paris Hilton could sing. I must go back to the day before I knew Paris Hilton could sing.*

walking the kitty

Trying to save my fat kitty from getting cat diabetes for being overweight, I walked into a pet store and asked for a cat leash. The sales clerk looked at me strangely but showed me the collection of cat collars and leashes. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to choose from, so I ended up buying one of those figure eight leashy thingy and a matching leash in the color pink.

Let's just say Jelly Belly Fat Cat did not like taking a walk...

You want me to do what? Walk? On cement? Fat chance, Lady.

Mommy, please pick me up. I don't like this.

Crazy f-ing caretakers, $&%^*@, expecting me to get off my fat ass and waddle around for their sick pleasure. $*%&*#&%** I know she's laughing me me. #*%&&$*$

No more walking, please. Too much work. Need rest. Someone hug me.

You two are going to pay for making me do this.

Aww, finally, back to sanctuary. I need a nap.

Why clean before your cleaners come?

The Boy had scheduled some housecleaning service to clean his house at 9 am on Sunday (9 am!! on a Sunday!!) and so we had to get up early to prepare for them. Prepare what you say? Well, clean up before they start cleaning of course! Redundant? Yes, it is. The Boy is crazy. We (really just me) had to pick up all the clothes off the floor, put away bottles sitting on the counter, take out the garbage, do the dishes, etc. I guess the cleaners were just supposed to vacuum, mop and clean the bathrooms since we already put everything else away.

What pissed me off was that he made me stay up late to pre-clean for the cleaners, get up early to shower and get dressed, and let my stomach growl while waiting for over an hour for the cleaners who NEVER SHOWED UP. All that cleaning for nothing.

And I know it's just not the Boy who cleans before the cleaners come over. It's like people who brush their teeth before going to a dentist for a cleaning. Weird. But people do it.