notes from first day of classes

Civil Procedure II -- Jurisdiction:

Class starts at 10am. A student walks into class at 10:30am.

Professor: Well hello. Thanks for joining us. There's only one seat left down here in the front row, so come on down and take your seat. Wait, nevermind. You're interrupting my class so just sit right there on the floor. Yep, right where you're standing, just sit on the floor.

Student sits on the floor, in the middle of the aisle. Then after about ten minutes, he gets up, walks outside of the classroom. Two seconds after the door closes, the student walks back into class, picks up his bag from the floor and announces "I think I'm in the wrong class," and proceeds to leave the class permanently.

Professor: I wonder if he think he's in the wrong class because he just heard ten minutes of my lecture or if he just can't stand personal jurisdiction.

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Federal Taxation Joke of the Day

There was an article about a man who went down to hell and came back to tell us all about it. In the article, the man said that when he was down in hell, there were two doors that people were lining up in front of. One door was labeled the "Communist Door" and the other was labeled the "Capitalist Door." There was a significantly long line in front of the Communist Door and absolutely no one in line for the Capitalist Door.

Intrigued with this observation, the man went to the end of the line for the Communist Door and asked the last guy in line, "Hey, what's so popular with the Communist Door? What do they do to you once you go through the door?"

The last guy in line responds: "Oh, they whip you, then boil you in hot oil, then string you up and whip you some more, then skin you alive. The usual."

The man thought to himself "How horrible!" and seriously thought about running to the Capitalist Door and walking right on in. But before he acted upon that thought, he asked the last guy in line to the Communist Door, "Gee, what happens to you when you go through the Capitalist Door?"

The last guy in line replies, "Oh, they do the same thing. The only difference is that the communists always run out of whips, hot oil, string, knives......"

**Get it? Hardy har har?**

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Product Liability:

The professor for product liability began setting up his notes and books on the podium in preparation to start the lecture for the class. He then walks to the back of the class to do something.

The professor I had for Criminal Law last year walks into class, up to the podium and proceeds to close the Product Liability Professor's books and notes, then puts it all in a pile on the corner of the desk. Criminal Law Professor continues to set up his books on the podium.

Okay, at this point in time, half the class (the half that had Criminal Law Professor the first semester of law school) kinda starts freaking out because he was really intimidating in class. At first, I thought it was some set-up for a product liability demonstration. Then I thought it was some practical joke. But it was neither. Criminal Law Professor was just absent minded.

Criminal Law Professor looks up from the podium, probably seeing a bunch of confused looks staring back at him, and sees Product Liability Professor at the back of the room with an equally confused look on his face.

Criminal Law Professor asks Product Liability Professor: "Is this your classroom?"

Product Liability Professor: "Um, yes. It's reserved for product liability."

Criminal Law Professor: "Oh I'm sorry! I must be in the wrong classroom."

As soon as Criminal Law Professor walks out the door, all of his former students, myself included, let out a sigh of relief. We did not want to relive our days in Criminal Law.

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International Law:

Quote of the day from Professor: I don't assign reading for the first day of classes because nobody ever really does first day assignments and I don't really get to to discuss the first day assignments so then we get behind on our reading before we really even started.

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Business Organization Professor's Thoughts on the Attendance Policy:

"I hate the attendance policy and I think it stinks. It shouldn't be applicable whatsoever."

You think this was a good thought, but no, he further explains why he hates the attendance policy.

"It's ridiculously that you can miss eight classes in one semester. I just wanted to allow you guys to miss two classes max, but I was outnumbered so each of you can miss eight classes without penalty."