bed a broke a

I broke the bed. No, I was not jumping up and down on my bed. I was sleeping, actually. I was on one side, turned over to the other side and heard a board break, then found myself lying on a slanted mattress. It was after midnight so I didn't really want to go ask the hotel staff to fix it and decided to sleep through the night. Each time I turned over or rolled over, however, the boards kept creaking and/or breakinga little bit more, and the mattress kept slumping down on one side.

As I was getting dressed in the morning, I sat down on the bed to put some lotion on my legs and as soon as my butt touched the bed, there was a loud "THUNK" and the mattress broke through the boards underneath and fell to the floor. All I could do was laugh because I didn't know how to explain to the hotel staff that I just broke the bed.

So this is the conversation I had with the hotel staff:

Me: Ni hao. Ni hui shuo ying wen ma? [Do you speak English?]

Lady at the Front Desk: Yi dian. [a little]

Me: Okay. Zuo tian wo shui jiao le [yesterday when I was sleeping] wo de "bed" [my bed] shi "thunk." [go "thunk"].

Lady at the Front Desk: Bed a broke?

Me: Yes, bed broke.

Lady at the Front Desk: Broke a big?

Me: Um…zuo tian broke yi dian. Jin tian broke hen da [yesterday little break, today big break].

Lady at the Front Desk: Big a break? Bed a break big?

Me: Shi. Duibuqi [Yes, sorry].

Lady at the Front Desk starts laughing and tells me she'll tell housekeeping to fix the bed.

I'm Alive!!!

Hello fellow readers (all three of you!)! I'm alive and well! I did not get lost in Beijing or picked up by an Asian gang. I just have not had any internet access. Can you believe that? No surfing the internet during class! One of the first mission was to find an internet cafe, and to our great dismay, we found out that the internet cafes won't let you upload any pictures AND they have guards walking around watching behind your back to monitor what websites you're looking at. Crazy. And the computers in the foreign exchange center will also block access to certain sites too, i.e. uscourts.gov sites. Wicked crazy. Therefore, I couldn't find a computer to upload pictures, and I couldn't get a wireless signal from my laptop, so I've been suffering major internet withdrawal symptoms. To our great surprise, we found a cafe that not only has really good food but FREE wireless access too. So now I'm going to sit here and give you an update and upload some pictures until the waitress kicks us out. Here it goes...

I've been having a great time in Beijing. I've been here for ten days now and I was sick for seven of those days. I'm just finally getting over this cold today -- knock on wood. However, I wasn't going to let a sore throat, runny nose, congested lungs, coughing and sneezing keep me from doing all the touristy stuff.

Tianamen Square is not really a square but is a rectangle. It can hold up to 1.5 million people. We saw the inside of the Great Hall of the People where congress meets about twice a year (I think, don't quote me). We walked by Mao's Memorial Hall but weren't allowed to go see his dead body on display because they were renovating the place. One of my classmates is close to seven feet tall, so everywhere he walked, the Chinese people were taking pictures of him. We have dubbed "The Giant." We also asked a Chinese person to take a group photo of us, to which resulted in a picture that had everyone in it but "The Giant's" head. It was pretty funny.

The Summer Palace is where the Empress Dowager spent her time in the city. It was full of tourists when we went, and a bunch of peddlers were trying to sell us fake Olympic t-shirts (of which I bought one -- it's for you, bro). We also encountered our first scam artist -- another classmate bought a t-shirt and gave the peddler a 100 yuan bill for a 25 yuan shirt. When she got the change, we realized they gave her a fake 50 yuan note. Lesson learned.
We also saw a Chinese Acrobatic show (where that Chinese guy from Ocean's 11 came from) and it was so cool to see these talented artists perform. There were some crazy contortionists going on. And this girl riding the bicycle has very strong legs.


Next up was the Silk Market -- can I say knock-off galore? Coach, Louis Vuitton, Samsonite, Prada, Gucci, True Religion--whatever you can think of is here at market and you HAVE TO bargain in order to get things cheap. I spent way too much money there. On myself. For custom tailored cashmere suits. They look great on me so I'm just going to stop whining about how much I spent there. But, I was able to get other things too. Like True Religion men's jeans for $15 USD a pair. Yes, I'm not joking. The Boy has put in an order for six pairs. I don't know how I'm supposed to get all this back to the States. I might start visiting the post office or DHL soon.


The Great Wall!! This was the day that I was deathly ill, like I-didn't-want-to-get-out-of-bed-because-my-every-inch-of-my-body-hurts-and-I-had-no-energy-ill. But it was the day to go to the Great Wall, and I couldn't miss that.

So I dragged my ass out of bed, slept on the bus for the entire 2 hour ride to the wall, and then took the easy way out by riding the gondola up the Great Wall instead of climbing the mountain that leads up to it. It was so awesome. It's one thing to see pictures of the Great Wall, but it is entirely a whole different feeling to be able to stand on top of one of the world's greatest monuments. I walked along the Great Wall from one beacon to the next, but then got exhausted and decided to sit and wait while my classmates finished walking the whole section of the Great Wall we were in.

The best part of the Great Wall was being able to slide down to the bottom on this luge-like toboggan thing. From looking at it, I thought there was a great risk I would die from attempting this. They even sold insurance for the "ride". However, once I got on and starting my descent down, it was really fun and wasn't too fast or scary.

After an exciting day at the Great Wall, we got back to the hotel and I fell asleep while everyone else went out partying until the wee hours. I have yet to do that, but as soon as this cold is over, Beijing beware of QQ.

Now that I know where I can use my laptop to get a wireless connection, I'll try to update my blog more often, even if it's just to post pictures. Hopefully, the PRC isn't checking any wireless connections and trying to ban whatever I'm posting. hee hee

funny pictures and signs

coffee art

Crunch Time Fix

Lots of hazelnut and expresso to keep you up.

Pretty to look at, delicious to drink.

And plenty of caffeine in this drink to keep you wide awake too.

supersized Ziploc bags

I was at Wal-Mart looking for some storage bins and came across these giant Ziploc bags -- size XXL. What a genius invention! Ziploc SUPERSIZE with handles! They're great for storing things like linens and towels. And the best part? Once you're done using the bags, you can re-fold it for later use (like storing those winter sweaters).

As an example, in the picture above, I was able to fit seven boxes of shoes in the giant Ziploc bag.

(Yes, I am anal about organizing my shoes into plastic bins. It's just easier for me to look through the clear plastic box when I need to make a decision on which shoes to wear. Plus, I can stack the boxes on top of one another, which makes more room for new shoes. The Boy does have good ideas once in a long while.)

After I put all my things into the appropriate boxes, suicases, and Ziploc bags, I noticed that there is a possibility that my carry on luggage would fit into the Ziploc XXL bag.
I didn't attempt to squeeze my carryon into the Ziploc bag because I was tired to packing and I did not want to unpack anything, not even for this hypothetical.

But, hypothetically speaking, if my carry-on did fit into the Ziploc bag, do you think I would be able to go through airport security and say "You said you wanted me to put all my liquids in a Ziploc bag and all my liquids are in a Ziploc bag!"?

I'm thinking there will be a 99% possibility that airport security will just drag me away in handcuffs if I attempted this hypothetical.

I can't believe I just used "hypothetical" three times in the last three paragraphs. I do need a vacation.

DONE DONE DONE

no more pencils
no more books
no more teacher's dirty looks

no more con law
no more prop(erty)
no more contracts -- whee whee

I just finished my last final exam and have now completed my first year of law school! A most painful year it has been!

Now I can officially call myself a 2L...well, I'll be a 2L until I find out that I flunked all my exams and got kicked out of law school. But I won't care because I'll probably be in China when grades come out. Bring it on!

Now on to vegging out in front of the TV for the rest of the day.

as good as it gets

Me: I'm going to make you come back to Kansas City with me when my summer vacation is over.

BF (being sarcastic): Okay, anything you want. I'll follow you to Kansas City and move in with you. How does that sound?

Me: You know, that could be a possibility. I haven't made a 100% committment to anyone being my roommate yet, so there would be an extra room for you.

BF: There's going to be an extra room?

Me: Yeah, M is moving out at the end of July and I have to find a new roommate, remember?

BF: Oh yeah.

Me: Well, if you want to come live with me in Kansas City, you can have your own bedroom and bathroom and just help me pay half of everything.

BF: We would each have our own bedrooms to sleep in. Well, that sounds like a good idea.

Me: Well, you can have your own room for your personal time and I'll be in my room studying and what not. Then I'll just crawl into your bed when I'm ready to go to sleep. Or you can crawl into my bed.

BF: Hell no!

Me: What? Huh? Hell no?

BF: You sleep in your bed. I'll sleep in my bed. Then we can spend quality time together on the weekends.

Me: What?

BF: Yeah, we'll be like roommates during the week and then we can be a couple on the weekends.

Me: Oh, so it'll be like "Honey, let's spend the weekend in MY bedroom this weekend. Next weekend, we can spend it at 'your place.' ?"

BF laughing his sick ass off: Yeah, like that. Wouldn't that be great?

Me: Good gosh, you're a strange one.

BF: It'll be the perfect relationship. We'll be roommates during the week and stick to our own rooms. Then we can act like a couple on the weekends.

Me: Well, I guess if that's the only way you'll "move in" with me, I'll take what I can get.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Oh how I've lowered my marital goals with The Boy:

First, it was "Oh, I'm sure he'll change his mind about marriage."

Then it was "Oh, if he doesn't want to get married, I'll be happy with a life time committment."

Then it became "Oh, if he just agrees to move in together, that's as much of committment I'll get from him."

And now I've settled on "Oh, I'll take whatever I can get from him."