The Reason Why I Was Fired

THE REASON I WAS FIRED
For the last departmental picnic, management had decided that due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink each person.

I was fired for ordering the cups.

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Editor's Note: Sent to me in an email and posted again verbatim.

Employee of the Month

We're all working hard at the beginning of the semester, but I suppose we could each do more....



Editor's Note: Picture was emailed to me with heading and caption added verbatim.

Boyfriend Quote of the Day

Me: You don't appreciate anything I do for you anymore.

BF: I appreciate you lots. You just did something wonderful for me recently.

Me: I did? What was that?

BF: You moved away for law school, best thing in the world!

Me: I did what?!?

BF: You're the best girlfriend in the whole wide world and beyond. Any other guy would be jealous of me right now.

Me: Jerk.

Question of the Day

Do you eat fried chicken with ketchup? And if you do, where in the US are you from?

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Me: Hey roomie, want some ketchup to go with that Popeye's fried chicken?

Roommate (RM): want some what?

Me: Ketchup.

RM: You eat fried chicken with ketchup?

Me: Um...yeah. Doesn't everybody?

RM: No.

Me: Huh? Who doesn't eat fried chicken with ketchup?

RM: Nobody eats fried chicken with ketchup. Southerners don't, and where does fried chicken come from? The south! [she's from Louisiana].

Me: You're pulling my strings.

RM: It's true! I dont' know anyone who eats fried chicken with ketchup.

Me: My entire family does! And my boyfriend does! And everybody I know since growing up eats fried chicken with ketchup. We pile on the ketchup.

RM: Maybe it's a coastal thing. I know southerners don't do it.

Me: Let me call my friend Q from South Carolina and see if that's true.

..... conversation with Q.....

Q: Hi there.

Me: I just realized that you don't eat chicken on the bone, so did you find out if your family eats fried chicken with ketchup?

Q: My dad and brother says they've never heard of anyone eating fried chicken with ketchup.

Me: WHAT?!

Q: You're just weird.

Me: I've never heard of anyone not eating fried chicken with ketchup until today.

Q: Yeah, you're just weird.

Me: I have to ask another person from the south about this fried chicken with ketchup thing.

Q: Okay, weirdo.

.....conversation with the roommate....

Me: My friend from South Carolina says her family doesn't eat fried chicken with ketchup either!

RM: See, I told you.

Me: I'm going to find a southerner who eats fried chicken with ketchup, even if it kills me.

RM: okay, now.

.....conversation with the Boy....

Me: Want to know something really weird?

BF: what?

Me: People from the south don't eat fried chicken with ketchup.

BF: What do they eat it with?

Me: Nothing.

BF: That's weird.

Me: I know!

BF: Who told you that?

Me: The roomie and Q, who said her dad and brother doesn't eat fried chicken with ketchup.

BF: Why would anyone not eat fried chicken with ketchup?

Me: I know!! That's what I keep asking.

BF: That's just weird. Fried chicken with no ketchup.

Me: Honey, apparantly we're the weirdos for doing that.

take a hint

Half of the outer cover of my casebook for Contract Law:

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This drawing was on the inside cover of the casebook:

Thank you for the advice, Mr. Leary.

10 things I miss most about San Francisco

1. The weather. I cannot stand this humid heat. A two minute walk to school is way too long in the scorching sun. Sweat beads start forming as soon as I a step outside my front door. Yes, I can do without this heat. And I'm sure I'll miss San Francisco weather even more when the snow starts falling down.

2. Being able to be within walking distance of a Walgreens (or equivalent), a bank and a grocery store. It sucks to have to depend on someone else to take you grocery shopping (Roomie, do you need to go to the grocery store? I need some more milk....).

3. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the MUNI. Everyone here owns a car to drive everywhere they need to go, and little Miss Q-pig here decided that walking is good enough for her. There is a bus system here, called "The Metro" but I've been here for three weeks now and I haven't seen an actual bus around here, so I don't know how reliable their public transport system is.

4. Asian people. I don't like being stared at because: a) they've never seen an Asian before; b) they've never seen an English speaking Asian; c) they can't figure out if I am Asian ("Are you Spanish?"); d) I'm not white.

5. Intelligent people. Okay, wait, I really mean people with common sense. My patience is wearing thin and I just realized that I can't stand stupid people anymore. I just can't keep talking to everyone like he or she is a two year old child. I just can't. Thank goodness my law school classmates are not stupid and all are somewhat intelligent. Well, for now anyway.

6. Dim sum. Lots and lots of dim sum.

7. Nail salons on every block, and $20 for a good spa pedicure ($25 if you really want to splurge).

8. My old junk of a car. See #3 above.

9. Jelly Belly. I miss her A LOT.

10. Having a steady paycheck. Enough said.

And I miss The Boy. He's out partying like a rock star while I'm slaving away in this humid heat, studying hard so that I can successfully graduate from law school. But that's okay. He drinks because he misses me. Or at least that's what he keeps telling me.

1 week down, 119 more weeks to go until graduation

First week of law school in review:

Contracts, Lesson of the week: this is how the courts are set up, there's a federal court system and a state court system. You need to figure out which court system you are in first before you can determine which law to follow.....blah blah blah blah.

Intro to Law, lesson of the week: There are two court systems, federal and state and each have the same heirarchy to follow for precedent...blah blah blah blah.

Torts, lesson of the week: There are many kinds of torts and tort law, but before you can learn about the law of torts, you need to understand the court systems we follow....blah blah blah.

Criminal Law, lesson of the week...oh why am I bothering. You get the point. The same lesson was repeated in Property.

So, not a very exciting first week in class. I haven't been called on yet--I think the professors are afraid to screw up my mine. Well, I'm prepared as can be, so bring it on! Or maybe I should enjoy this lag while it lasts.

hallelujah!

cable works.
wireless internet works.

I am in heaven at the moment.

Must catch up with imperative internet surfing.

still no F-ing cable OR internet

The cable guy was supposed to hook up cable and high speed internet for me yesterday. After an hour of using his handheld-cable-searching device and searching for the cable box, he determined that he was not able to find a "cable connection" and therefore needed to send a "Community Developer, aka CD technician" to come out and finish the job for us. The first available time is this Friday.

I have to wait until FRIDAY for real cable and internet? WTF? Arguing with the technician showed no progress so I called up customer service at Time Warner cable and had the following conversation:

Me: You sent a technician to hook up cable service and he said he couldn't do it today. Why?

Customer Service Rep: Please hold while I try to find out that information.

Me: Okay. Thanks.

CSR: [Q-pig]? Thank you for holding and being patient with us. The technician today was not able to do the cable service you were asking for. That's why we need to send another technician out there.

Me: Why did you send me a technician who didn't know what he was doing?

CSR: Hold on one moment, please.

Me: okay, thanks.

CSR: Q-pig, thank you for holding and for being patient. The technician who came to your apartment today was not qualified to do cable hookup in an apartment unit.

Me: You're telling me that today's technician was unqualified to hook up cable in an apartment?

CSR: Yes.

Me: Um, you guys knew that I lived in an apartment complex when I decided to sign up for service.

CSR: Yes, we did.

Me: So why did you send me someone who was unqualified technician to do the job?

CSR: Hold on one moment, please.

Me: fine.

CSR: Q-pig, thank you for holding and for being patient. There was a complex situation with the cable box at your apartment complex and we need to send a qualified CD technician out there to fix the problem.

Me: Let me get this straight, you initially sent me an "unqualified" technician to try to hook up my cable.

CSR: Yes.

Me: And now you're going to schedule a time for a "qualified" technician to hook up the cable?

CSR: Yes.

Me: Why are you hiring unqualified people in the first place?

CSR: ..um...um...um

Me: Do you always hire unqualified people and send them out just to have someone else go back in and finish it because the unqualified person doesn't know how to do it in the first place? You know this wastes a lot of my time....

CSR: Miss...

Me: ....and I don't have the time to sit at home for 3 hours at a time waiting for someone to come by and just turn on the cable so I can watch real tv instead of the crap that I have been forced to endure watching over the last three weeks...

CSR: We're terribly sorry...but ....umm....

Me: ...and I really don't care about the cable but the INTERNET. I NEED THE INTERNET and I shouldn't be forced to have a delayed satisfaction of having high speed internet when it is your fault that you hire and send unqualified people out to just turn on the freaking cable.

CSR: I'm terribly sorry. I'll take off $20 off your first bill.

Me: It better be free if the qualified technician doesn't complete the whole process of turning on my cable and installing high speed internet.

CSR: Yes, yes, whatever you want. Just get off the phone.

Okay, the CSR didn't really say that last line but I swear she wanted to.

Quote of the day

From the visiting professor currently teaching my section of 1L Property class:

"Grades really don't matter. Has any heard the joke about grades?

Students who get A's will turn out to be professors; students with B's will become judges and all the students who make C's in law school will end up being millionaires because they're smart.

So, no biggie about grades. Okay?"

the anticipation of cable tv

Yay! My roomie and I finally decided on a package for cable tv and cable internet hookup. I can't live without high speed internet, she can't live without cable. Why oh why did she not have cable at all last year?

After calling every cable provider in the world, we were forced to go with Time Warner cable (Comcast equivilant for you Cali folks) because none of the other providers provide service in our area ("we serve Kansas City, but not the area of Kansas City that you're in"...what the hell? we're not exactly in the ghetto.). And for some really odd reason, my frugal roommate opted for digital cable with a DVR box so we ended up getting a higher price package than what she initially wanted to pay for. Whatever. It's done. It's set. The cable man is coming on Monday and I can't wait to be able to get online in the comfort of my bedroom and not having to buy a small ice coffee in order to sit at the coffeehouse and use their free online service.

Whee!!

highlights from law school orientation

on the incoming class:
-there are approximately 169 students in the incoming Class of 2009.

-there are exactly 10 people who are clearly not Caucasion...oh, what the hell, white people. There are exactly 10 people who are clearly not white, aka the "minority group": 3 black people, 4 east asians (1 chinese, 1 korean, 1 thai and me--vietnamese!), 1 east Indian, 1 Pakistani and 1 hispanic. And everybody else is white, "as white as white can be."

-about 90% of the class is from the Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa and Oklahoma areas.

-there are 5 international students who actually traveled from China, India, etc. to come here for law school...here in Kansas City of all places.

-one of the black dudes just moved here from Virginia.

-I'm the only one representing California.

-About an eighth of the class are expecting their first child.

-I've never seen so many white people collected in one place.

on the different advice from the Administration:
-"law school is like a full time job. Expect to work 60-80 hours a week for your schoolwork. Then, after you graduate, you'll already be a pro at 80 hour work weeks."

-"All of you deserve to be here. However, if you plan on doing any of the following, I have one advice for you: if you are in the middle of a divorce, go home. If you are planning on getting a part-time job, go home. If you are just entering rehab and not stable enough to endure the stress of law school, go home. For the rest of you, WELCOME!"

-"Do not seperate yourself from the real world. Schedule in the normal things that you need to do. Make time to spend with your families. If you like to read slutty romance novels, read them. If you want to have sex all the time, have sex all the time. If you don't want to have sex all the time, don't have sex all the time."

-"on that last note about having sex, one of our alums heard me give that advice and about two months into the semester, she came up to me and said to me: 'Prof. remember when you said that if we wanted sex all the time, we should have sex all the time? Well, I'm pregnant.' And she graduated with honors and three beautiful children."

on the freebies the school gives out as a welcoming gift:
-free UMKC Law School lunch insulated lunch packs, packed with a laundry bag, barbeque sauce, and lots of coupons for free food and drinks in the surrounding area. Too bad I don't have a car to DRIVE to these places.

-cups and water bottles with BAR/BRI all over it. It serves as a great reminder of the stress inducing awful test I will have to take at the end of my 3 year law school career in order to a legally practicing attorney.

-lots and lots of luggage tags

-lots and lots of copies of cases to read before classes start.

why'd I do this?

I just spent the last three hours organizing and writing answers to two fake exams that will never get graded and I will never know what my fake grade would be if the professors did grade my answer, which was not fake, but in this case it might as well be fake anyway because no one will ever see them.

It was a good thing I didn't spend five hours last night outlining in preparation for these fake exams. Unlike some of the other poor fools in this class....

When is lunch?

Quote of the Day

Student: blah blah blah blah blah blah I read somewhere that it is now a law that you cannot pray in school...that it's illegal if you start praying in school.

Consitutional Law Professor: No, you're wrong. It's not a crime if you pray in school.

Student: But the United States just passed the legislation.

Prof: No, no. You can pray in school. It would be a violation of the constitution if they stopped you from praying. Take it from me. Praying is not illegal.

Student: But....

Prof: Christian groups can have after school meetings and reserve a classroom for praying if they want to and no one can stop them.

Student: But you can't pray out loud...

Prof: Yes you can. If you're in a cafeteria and everyone else is being loud, you can pray out loud, to yourself.

Student: I'll have to find the case where I read it from and show you.

Prof: I teach constitutional law so I know that it's true and it's not illegal to pray in school.

And then I overhead this same student trying to ask the following question during a break in the class:

Student: So, is it illegal to wear a cross to school?


Oh. My. Gosh. Please. Stop. Talking. Now.

week in review

so yeah, here I am in Kansas City, Missouri (or MO for short), and I'm finally in my own room in my new apartment with my new roommate and my very own bathroom (score!). I just finished unpacking everything too. All my clothes are folded and my shoes are stacked neatly away in the closet. I've got sheets on my brand new bed. I've got no internet hookup yet, but am hoping that I can finish this blog before I lose my mooching connection on someone else's wireless.

So, here goes...the week in review:

--getting up at 3 am to get ready for the airport sucks. knowing that I'm not the only person to get up that early to get to a flight makes it a little better.

--even though getting up at 3am should make you tired enough to sleep on the plane, you can't because the first half of the flight is only an hour and a half, then you have to lug your stuff off the plane and get onto another plane in Phoenix, then you're seated next to a baby who won't stop crying, and before you know it, you're already in Kansas City downing a red bull to keep from falling asleep while driving to your friend's sister's house for the night.

--wearing a tanktop will get you a free upgrade from a mid-size car to an SUV. and the Enterprise guy will not take no for an answer.

--call the Boy four times during the first four hours in Kansas City.

--to get from the airport to Overland Park, you have to switch between three different interstates and then highways, and a bunch of other streets, get back on the interstate, switch to some more highways, and finally reach it. Then do all that over again to get back to Kansas City for school.

--wake up an hour early to plan for driving, spend that hour getting lost and then get to school 15 minutes late.

--get great Kansas City Barbeque Ribs from great restaurant on the Plaza. Even greater when eating with friend's mother who was in town for a conference.

--spend an hour getting lost trying to drive back to friend's sister's house after school.

--call the Boy four times to whine about being lost.

--finally got to see what the apartment looks like and what the roommate is like. Both were very cool. Only sucky thing was that I could not move in on the prearranged date because the subletter who moved out was not subletting the room that I am renting. So I had to stay at friend's sister's house for a couple more days than initially intended.

--2 year old babies are cute. even cuter when you are able to run away and hide in your room when the baby is crying for half an hour.

--border collies are cute too. not so cute when they nip your hand everytime you try to pet it.

--himalayan cats are gorgeous but not so friendly

--call the Boy to share observations about babies, dogs and cats.

--the summer academic enrichment program I'm currently in is fun. I feel like I'm getting a week's head start on all the 1Ls. I've got briefing down pat.

--getting called on in class was scary, but being able to give a good argument for every question AND get praised by the professor gives me such a giddy feeling. hopefully the real classes are this easy.

--spending time with friend's friend who lives in Kansas City and went to an actual shopping center with regular stores like the Gap, Express and Barnes & Noble. Too bad I can't buy any more clothes.

--spending 2 hours shopping at Wal-Mart, then another hour at Target, and a half hour at Bed Bath & Beyond will still not get you everything you need in your apartment. I have to go back to those places tomorrow to get more stuff. Maybe roommate will join me so that she can help me carry home a desk....

--there are a lot of East Indian men in my apartment complex. I wonder if they are willing to share indian food.

--it's so nice to finally sleep on your very own bed again, especially when it's brand new and you took the plastic cover off yourself. And even better when the bed is not a twin.

--it's super nice to have your very own bathroom when you are sharing an apartment.

--I only talked to the Boy two times today, instead of the usual six I've been able to squeeze in. Is that a bit much?

--I found two Vietnamese resturants AND an asian food market. There is civilization in Kansas City.

--Life is gonna suck when I have to return the SUV to the Enterprise guy. How am I supposed to get to Wal-Mart Supercenter?

brr

just a quick little update from Kansas City:

It's about 100 degrees outside and I'm shivering in this negative 10 degree classroom.

Can't we have a happy medium?

lunch at the Cheesecake Factory

Renee's Special half sandwich, soup and salad -- $10.95

Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Buffalo hot sauce -- $10.95

Chicken Avocado Club Sandwich -- $10.95

Banana Creme Cheesecake -- FREE

Chocolate Brownie Sundae Cheesecake -- FREE

Snickers Cheesecake -- FREE

Using Mastercard all the time, resulting in coupons for free cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory -- PRICELESS

conversation with the neighbor

While I was putting the finishing touches and preparing several boxes for shipping to Kansas City, the Boy's neighbor walks over with his dog and engages in the following conversation:

Neighbor: Are you and [the Boy] moving?

Me: Oh no. I'm packing up to go to law school.

Neighbor: Whereabouts?

Me: Kansas City?

Neighbor: You're both moving to Kansas City?

Me: No. Just me. I'm the only one moving to go to law school.

Neighbor: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Me: Umm...sorry for what? That I'm going to law school?

Neighbor: No, sorry that you two broke up.

Me: huh? Oh no!! We didn't break up. We're still together and I'll come back during school breaks and will take the California bar after law school. I'll be back, don't worry.

Neighbor: Oh, good to know. So will [the Boy] still come here on the weekends?

Me: Yeah, he'll still come back here on the weekends. This house is his baby.

Neighbor: Good, good. I need a beer buddy. Good luck in law school!


Great, not only does the neighbor think we're breaking up, he's excited to have a beer buddy.

wow

Muni gets derailed, a 4.4 quake in Northern California...what's happening? All hell breaks loose as soon as I leave San Francisco?

*singing voice* Don't cry for me San Francisco....





and what the hell am I doing up at 6am when I don't have to work anymore?

this is the life

Monday:

7:30 a.m. -- wake-up call from the Boy wondering why I wasn't out of bed yet. "Because I don't have to work anymore! I quit yesterday remember! Now let me get back to sleep!"

9:50 a.m. -- text message from the Boy's sister wondering if I made it to Sacramento in one piece.

10:00 a.m. -- woke up and watched "The Simple Life" on the E channel for a couple hours. Paris and Nicole are so stupid but their show is so addictive I couldn't tear my eyes away.

11:30 a.m. -- ate brunch of leftover Mexican food in the fridge.

11:35 a.m. -- called the Boy to say hi.

12:45 p.m. -- attempted to do some yard work. Too hot so I only accomplished pulling out the giant, tall weeds that made the backyard look like a forest. Got pricked by thousands of thorns in the process, called the Boy to whine about it.

1:30 p.m. -- met with the window people to tell them which blinds were broken.

1:40 p.m. -- called the Boy to inform of completion of blinds repair.

3:00 p.m. -- attempt to repack everything neatly into boxes and prepare for shipping.

5:00 p.m. -- finished packing.

5:10 p.m. -- call the Boy to ask for help in locating coin operated laundry place.

5:30 p.m. -- search for laundry place and food.

6:00 p.m. -- found coin operated laundry place in the hood. Put clothes in wash and continued on quest for food.

6:30 p.m. -- found a grocery store and quelled hunger with a Sprite and chips. Put clothes in dryer.

7:15 p.m. -- returned back home with clean laundry.

8:00 p.m. -- watched tv for the rest of the night, while reading "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown.

2:00 a.m. -- finally put the book down and gave in to the body's request for sleep.

Tuesday:

8:00 a.m. -- woke up to finish the last 100 pages of "Digital Fortress".

10:00 a.m. -- called the Boy to say good morning.

10:30 a.m. -- went shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond.

11:00 a.m. -- Spent an hour at Borders to use the laptop for internet access.

11:30 a.m. -- Called the Boy to say hi.

12:00 p.m. -- went shopping at Kohl's, then Ralphs' Grocery.

12:10 p.m. -- the Boy called to ask how I liked it to get a call every ten minutes: "I love getting phone calls from you. I'm not irked at all. Call me anytime you like. What else am I doing?" My response only made the Boy angrier because his plan to irk me backfired.

1:00 p.m. -- went home for lunch (Carl's Junior curly fries and chicken salad).

1:05 p.m. -- called the Boy to say hi again, then took a quick nap.

3:00 p.m. -- woke up and went to Home Depot to return dead flower (yep, they take it back with no questions asked).

3:10 p.m. -- called the Boy to inform of successful flower return.

3:15 p.m. -- went shopping at Wal-Mart.

4:00 p.m. -- planted new hisbiscus flowers in the Boy's yard and did some more potting and repotting of plants.

4:45 p.m. -- Emailed the Boy pictures of the new flower garden.

5:00 p.m. -- turn on laptop and was estatic to be able to mooch off someone else's unsecured wireless connection. SCORE!

5:05 p.m. -- call the Boy to inform him of good fortune.

5:40 p.m. -- I think it's time for another nap.